Although we have said that mistrust of oneself is
very necessary in this battle, nevertheless, if that were all we had,
we
could count on only two outcomes. Either (1) we would take flight, or
(2) our enemies would defeat us and we should remain conquered. Thus,
in
addition to this you still need
total confidence in God: hoping
in him alone, and expecting whatever benefit, help and victory from him
alone. For inasmuch as we, who are nothing, ought to mistrust
everything
of our own, and so may not promise ourselves anything other than a
fall: so we will surely attain every great victory thanks to our Lord
as long as in the pursuit of his love we arm our heart with a strong
confidence in him. And we can likewise attain this in four ways.
First: Ask
it of God.
Second:
With
the eye of faith, consider and observe God's omnipotence and infinite
wisdom. For God, nothing is impossible,
nor is anything even difficult. As
his goodness is without measure, God is ready and prepared, at every
time and every moment, to give with unspeakable love all that we need
for the spiritual life and complete victory over self, if we but throw
ourselves with confidence into his arms.
Consider:
For thirty-three years
our divine Shepherd ran after the lost sheep, with such loud cries that
he became raucous. He walked such an exhausting and thorny road as to
pour out all his blood and give us his life. Now that this sheep
follows
him, obeying his commands or at times desiring to obey when failing to
do so -- now that this sheep prays and cries out,
is it possible he would not turn
his
life-giving eyes to her?
Is it
possible he would not hear her, not place her on his divine
shoulders?
Is it possible he
would not celebrate a feast with his neighbors and with the angels of
heaven? For if our Lord with great care and love does not cease to seek
and to find the blind and the mute sinner, is it possible he would
abandon the one who cries and calls to her Shepherd as a lost sheep?
God knocks constantly at the human
heart, out of desire to enter and dine there, bestowing his
gifts: who would ever believe that God himself would pretend to be in
fact deaf, and would not desire to enter the heart of whomever should
open the door and invite him?
(Apocalypse
3.20)
The third way to acquire this
holy confidence is to recall the truth of sacred Scripture, which in
many places shows clearly that the one who trusts in God never remains
confused.
The fourth way which will help
attain confidence in God, as well as mistrust of self, is this: when
you
have something to do and you need to take up some battle and conquer
yourself, before you propose anything or make any resolution to do it,
turn in your thoughts to your weakness.
Then, distrusting yourself completely, turn yourself towards the divine
strength, wisdom and goodness. Trusting in these, resolve to work and
fight generously. But -- as I will say below -- fight and work with
these weapons in hand, and with prayer. For even if it seems that you
do everything from confidence in God, you will find yourself greatly
deceived if you do not observe this order. Indeed,
presumption in oneself is very subtle
and very natural to man, so that
it
almost always remains, hidden in the mistrust we believe to have
in ourselves and in the confidence that we believe to have in God.
In order to flee presumption as much as possible and to work with
mistrust of oneself and confidence in God,
act in such a way that the consideration of
your weakness precedes your consideration of the omnipotence of God,
and
that both should precede your deeds.