When he
sees that we walk directly towards virtue, the malign
demon attacks us with
the fourth deception
proposed
above.
This consists in various
good desires that he excites within us, so that we will fall from the
exercise of virtue into vice.
Consider a person who finds herself in bad health, but bears her
infirmity with a patient will all the same. The wise adversary, knowing
that he can instill a habit in the patient, places before her many good
works that she could accomplish if only her health were in a different
state. He make an effort to convince her that, were she healthy, she
could serve God better by being useful to herself and even to others.
Having set this desire into motion within her, he slowly increases it
little by little. She finds herself disturbed by the fact that she
cannot put her will into effect; as her desires grow greater
and stronger within her, so does her disquiet grow. The enemy uses this
slowly and ably to lead her away. She grows impatient with her
infirmity not
as an infirmity, but as an obstacle to those works that she longs
anxiously to effect for the greater good.
Once he has goaded her to this point, the demon just as readily strips
from her mind the goal of divine service and of good works, leaving
within her the naked desire to free herself from infirmity. Since she
cannot do as she wills, she becomes so upset as to lose her patience
completely. In this manner, she falls unawares from the virtue that she
formerly exercised into the opposite vice.
How does one guard against and oppose this deception? When you find
yourself in some tormented state, be attentive not to give room to
those desires for some good work that disturb you because you cannot
effect them at the moment. In this, you must accept with complete
humility, patience and resignation that your desires would not have the
effect that you imagine, for you are more vile and unstable than you
fancy. Or, think that God, in his hidden judgment, or due to your
unworthiness, does not wish to receive that good from you, but rather
that you lower yourself and humble yourself patiently beneath his sweet
and powerful hand (see
1 Peter 5.6).
In the same way, if your spiritual father or some other cause impedes
you from carrying out your devotions when you want, especially
receiving holy
communion, do not allow yourself to get upset and become disturbed from
the desire for these things. Rather, stripped of all your proprieties,
clothe yourself in the approval of your Lord. Say to yourself,
"If the eye of divine
providence did not see ingratitude and defects within me, I would not
now be unable to receive the most holy sacrament. However, I see that
my Lord reveals my unworthiness to me in this manner; may he be ever
praised and blessed. In truth, my Lord, I trust in your supreme
goodness. See to it that I open my hear to your every will, obeying and
taking pleasure in all things. See to it that I open my heart to you,
disposing it to your every will, so that you, entering it spiritually,
will console and strengthen it against those enemies that seek to
distance it from you. In this way, may everything that is good to your
eyes be done. My Creator and Redeemer, may your will be my food and my
sustenance, now and for ever. Dear Love, I ask only for this grace:
that my soul, purified and freed from whatever does not please you,
will always remain decorated by holy virtues, and with them it will
remain ready for your coming, and for whatever it may please you to do
with me."