Triumph of the color Green

Recent versions of Firefox and Chromium oversaturate this photo horribly on some devices. Konqueror displays it properly, as do local photo viewers, including the Gimp. So do Firefox, Edge, and Chrome on other devices. Maybe one day I’ll figure out how to convince Firefox to display it properly. Until then, feel free to download it to your machine and view it in a local viewer or editor. With an editor you can even draw silly moustaches under my nose.

Dr. John Perry, OP

2022 special half-century edition

Personal information

Legal Name:
John E. Perry, III, Ph.D.
“Non-legal” name:


The Perry Disorganization
Father and Husband
Torturing the teenagers, worrying the wife, insecuring the income
Typical reviews on
performance evaluations:
  • “You’re a horrible human being.”
  • “I hate you.”
  • “Go away.”
john.perry.math@ (no-spam-dudes) (remove the obvious) or

Previous appointments

PositionRoles (years)
Cog in a soul-devouring machine, Level II computer programmer (currently held)
  • Agile Development, Continuous Integration, Continuous Development, Integration Testing, Unit Testing, …
  • Cargo, Git, Google Test, Webpack, …
  • C++, Java, Rust, Rust/C++ interoperability, …
  • Image processing,
  • Timesheet entry
  • …and other cool buzzwords
Cog in a soul-devouring machine, Level I Associate Professor of Mathematics (2005-2021:)
  • Teaching: usually Calculus I, Modern Algebra, Number Theory, Mathematical Computation (a programming class)
  • Research: roughly 10 papers over 15 years
    • multiple international co-authors
    • two papers authored with undergraduate students
    • top-cited paper in the Journal of Symbolic Computation for a short while
    • multiple internally- and externally-funded grants
  • Service: too much; the less said, the better
    • When a colleague took over my duties and realized how much work it was, she asked for an additional class release beyond what I’d had (and she received it).
Gear in a soul-devouring machine AP Calculus Reader, Consultant to another standardized test (2005-2015 or so)
Matter fed to a soul-devouring machine/ Graduate student in mathematics (1993-1995,1999-2005)
Quitter High school math teacher, Catholic seminarian, and more (1995-1999)
Overachiever Salutatorian, Fast food, Newspaper Delivery (1985-1989)

Unusual skills

  • not fitting in
  • writing much, saying little
  • independent, uh, “thinking”, if it can be called that
  • visiting places in Europe where absolutely no one speaks English
  • working on a lot less sleep than I should be having (like, uh, now)
  • entertaining myself for hours, days, months at a time, then wondering where everyone went
  • a handful of spoken languages, with a wide range of ability (from fluent to cringe-inducingly bad)
  • utilizing the Sacrament of Confession (you wouldn’t believe what I confess even if God Himself told you)
  • voting for a losing candidate in 7 of 8 presidential elections in a row — don’t blame me; I voted for the other guy — no, not that other guy, a different one

Notable accomplishments

  • making people smile, especially my wife
    (the fact that I do so by accident is irrelevant)
  • three children who haven’t disavowed me… yet
  • learning gratitude (though I’m not very good at it)
  • finding places in Europe where absolutely no one speaks English
  • teaching myself Modula-2, C, Eiffel, Java, C++, Python, Modula-3, Oberon, Kotlin, Ada, Rust, … probably others
  • successfully cooking pizza, tiella, lasagna, babà al rum, sfogliatelle, птичье молоко, bread pudding, banana pudding
  • several proofs and algorithms (2007, 2010, 2011, 2014, 2020)
  • resurrecting an old research problem, then strangling it again
  • helping several students who had given up make it to graduation and sometimes to advanced degrees
  • winning a grant award that would have been a dream opportunity — then declining it for the right reasons
  • writing a program that legitimately required roughly 1,000,000 times as much data as available on the computer I had growing up